Over Asia: Kolkata

We left Varanasi behind, heading towards our final stop in India - Kolkata. Yeah, it used to be Calcutta but some West Bengali nationalism has seen it renamed after the Bengali pronunciation. We didn't have all that long in the city, which it turns out was a shame. Faded colonial grandeur? Check. Lack of in-your-face-and-down-your-throat-and-out-through-your-sphincter touts? Check. Reasonably clean? Check. Kolkata has a great feel about it. In the guidebooks Mumbai is touted as the street food capital of the nation. That is bollocks. They probably say that so that there's something positive to write about Mumbai. Nope, I can vouch that Kolkata trounces it by a country mile. Streets spill over with street cafes buzzing with customers; entire pavements are taken over to provide Kolkatans with quick, cheap and usually delicious snacks and meals.

The tree lined streets of the city provided the shade that allowed me to wander quite extensively through the streets around the hotel. Faded glories of buildings, cinemas and markets gave the place quite an atmosphere and I do regret not spending enough time there. We only really had one full day, another two days would've been just grand. One feature of Kolkata that I was surprised to see was the large number of rickshaws, in the traditional sense of the word. One chap, pulling round two (usually larger) people. These guys were probably the fittest people in the city.

A pretty typical Kolkata scene

These chaps were keen to say hello and they didn't try to sell me anything.

St. Paul's Cathedral, Kolkata branch.

I also came across a TV advert that infuriated me in a way very few others have managed. Dassault Systemes, who I am sure none of you have ever heard of, provide computer modelling and 3D modelling for...er...stuff. Here's the inevitable wiki on them for more info. ANYWAY, the advert essentially says that we can build cities in deserts, and the way we can solve the QUITE FUCKING OBVIOUS water issues associated with building brand new cities in a bloody desert is to tow a bleedin' iceberg from the Arctic. Yeah. Nice one guys. Here's the ad. I defy you not to want to stove the woman's face in inside 12 seconds. It's just a thought, but how about simply building new cities and towns where water is a more available? I shall be boycotting all Dassault Systemes products from now on. Which won't be hard as I'm unlikely to be in the market for 3-D design software, 3-D digital mock up and product lifecycle management solutions. I hope you can join me on this crusade.

On our last night on the sub-continent we decided that a tandooripocalypse would be the best way to see India off. Wandering off to a nearby restaurant I plumped for a tandoor meat platter (not dissimilar to the 26 quid kebab back in Istanbul, only a fraction of the cost) and Graham went for the...er...Chinese twice fried pork. Very nice the platter was too, so much so that I told the manager that it was the best meal I'd had in Kolkata. Naturally I neglected to mention that I'd only been there two nights and my previous meals had been:

- A McDonalds chicken meal thing (they got the order wrong as well);
- 3 onion pakoras; and
- A bag of cheese flavoured corn puffs and a Snickers.

Naturally, I had the shits the following morning.

So India was finished. We had done 6 weeks here, infuriating at times, bamboozling at others and even enjoyable on occasion. Would I return? Possibly, but I won't be going anywhere near the tourist honey pots. I'd like to go back to Kolkata, it's definitely worth a bit more time. I'd also try to get out further east to Jaisalmer. And give the north-east tribal territories a go. But I'm in no rush.

Singapore and seeing my sis Jill were next. After a long, long wait in Kuala Lumpur airport. Don't ever convince yourself that a 6 hour layover will fly by. Believe me, it doesn't.