Sunday 2 June 2013

Thailand calls...

Singapore was done, for now. Thailand was the final destination on my little jaunt, and Railay in particular was the spot where I was to meet up with Graham (who'd been in Kuala Lumpur for the F1 Grand Prix), Paul (a long time mate who has been in Thailand for the last 7 years) and Gareth (Jill's fella, who'd just finished work on the Malaysian Apprentice which he had described, in no uncertain terms, as an "thorough clusterfuck"). In fact, Gareth and Jill had not seen each other for nigh on 6 weeks as Jill had been in the UK for a few weeks, and Gareth had been in Malaysia, and yet he chose to come to Thailand with me. I think Jill was quite happy about this as she said it would mean he'd be way more chilled out than coming back to Singapore straight from the mess of The Apprentice. Now there's a top lass. I did make clear to him that as he was out with Jill's big bro he was on a strong warning of 'look no touch'.

So yes. Ao Nang bound. I had missed out on cheap flights to Krabi (about an hour to Ao Nang) so plumped for a flight to Phuket, a mere 3 hour bus ride. The 7 minute taxi ride from Phuket airport to the bus stop cost me 300B. The 3 hour bus ride cost me 150B. Oh Thailand, how I had missed thee.

YES! I WAS BACK! Thailand! The land where wing mirrors are for preening, 'blended spirits' are drank by the gallon for breakfast and the sun mostly shined.  A broad smile was on my face throughout the taxi ride as I took it all in again. Palm trees, bad driving, THE SUNSHINE. The bus stop was a dusty, broken bench next to the road with an old woman selling tickets and bits of food. I tried out my rusty Thai. She laughed and helped me out, to the extent of even peeling some boiled quail eggs for me. Not that I'd asked for them mind, she just assumed I wanted them and then charged me.

As I waited at the bus stop a taxi pulled up and a western lass struggled to exit it. I half-expected the leg in medical bandaging to be honest, and wasn't at all surprised to see it. Apparently according to Thais us westerners are always dropping off scooters and the like, and its a running joke really among them. I'm not sure why we're so shit at it. Anyway, Bea was her name and she was Norwegian. As though the blonde hair, blue eyes and stunning looks didn't bely that already. She had travelled the world in celebration of completing her Psychology Masters, taking in the Caribbean, the US, Bali and few other stops. In Bali her fella had flown out to meet her. One night a car had decided to reverse out in to the road without lights on and her fella smashed the scooter he was riding in to it. She was on the back, and her knee was left looking not unlike a Predator's mouth judging by the photos. Pretty soon after that, her fella scooted back off to Norway for work, leaving her to travel on rather incapacitated. She was OK with this, and was quite pragmatic about it - she'd rather travel/hobble on than go home.

As the bus arrived I did the English gent routine and made sure her bags were on the bus and she got a decent seat. We had a good natter on the bus - she was keen to hear about India - and by the time we arrived at Ao Nang I'd decided I rather liked Bea and we'd agreed to meet up later for drinks with the rest of my lot. Ultimately she ended up knocking about with us for a couple of days, in which time I introduced her to Railay and laab muu. Railay was our actual final destination for this trip; I'd been there previously and was blown away by it. So far it's the best beach resort Thailand has shown me in my 4 trips to the country. It was just as I had remembered it - soaring limestone karsts erupting out of the sea, bookending two fantastic beaches, and despite being on the mainland, only reachable by boat. There was perhaps a little more development, but it wasn't overdone.



We rocked up on Railay west beach, and after making sure Bea's leg remained dry and that she was installed on a beachfront table, me, Graham, Gareth and Paul sauntered off to find some value digs. We found some. We found a tent. A tent in a tropical climate. With one fan. Four lads, in a tent, in a tropical country. What on earth could go wrong? Well, nowt actually. Just a very pleasant few days pottering about, catching up with Paul and Gareth and chilling out. It was ace. Railay will be the beach destination of the eventual trips over by the parents.

Hairy monkey climbs rock

Gareth indulging in one of his favoured hobbies


One conversation amongst many we had was inevitably about lasses and Thai lasses, and generally lasses around the world. I'm not sure why it cropped up, possibly Paul answering why he had decided on Thailand. He himself won't mind me saying that part of his reason was an attraction to Asian women, or rather he suffers from 'Yellow Fever', as he succinctly phrased it. After falling for Bea ever so slightly I did ponder aloud whether I, in that case, suffered from Norwegian Wood.


We headed back to Ao Nang for Graham's birthday and following some extraordinarily good go-karting had a very boozy night out. We found an entertainment complex which, sadly, mirrored the worst that tourist Thailand can offer but it did us fine for the intended drink-until-you-fall-down session.

Following Ao Nang/Railay, the next stop for me and Graham was Bangkok. I had forgotten how shit travelling long distance is in Thailand. The trip to Bangkok, using one of the tourist buses, saw us transported in two different minibuses (with a decent wait inbetween), then put on a larger coach with shit aircon and knackered seats. We left Ao Nang in mid-afternoon and arrived in Bangkok on 2 hours sleep at about 4am. We needed to get the MRT (underground) to my mate Tony's gaff but the MRT didn't open til 6am. As it was a tourist bus, we were dropped off close to Khao San Road and left to the mercy of rabid taxi drivers. The nearest MRT station was at Bangkok train station, no more than a 10 minute ride at this time of day. 600B (£12) was the first quote I laughed off. Ultimately we got one off-meter at 100B. On the meter it would've have been closer to 50B but no fucker would take us on the meter. Landing at Tony's a little weary we immediately went to a market to buy stuff for a barbecue that evening.

It was great to catch up with Tony and Cholor. I hadn't seen them since I was last here 3 years ago and they had just moved in to their place. We caught up with each others news, drank a few beers and had the BBQ. Very pleasant indeed. After a couple of days it was time to head north, to make my return to St John's and say hello to some familiar faces.

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